Greetings, my Fellow Sisters in Flow. Question, have you ever come back from the grocery store only to find that one of your food purchases was destroyed in transit? That’s what happened to a bag of corn tortillas I had planned to make white people tacos with. But instead of flinging the broken tortillas across the room in a fit of rage, I transformed trash into treasure by making…tortilla chips!. Of course, with a chip MUST come a dip, and…
My dearest Tampon Princesses, I feel compelled to tell you a tale from my past, which involves a sordid history with the vegetable known as corn. It all began in high school at a carnival booth where my drill team had to sell corn to fairgoers in order to raise money. A friend and I were working the booth alone and thought it was HILARIOUS that we had to sell these phallic cobs. Ahh, such simple, stupid humor back then. Anyway, somehow…
In this mortal life, many of us aspire to reach a smorgasbord of dreams and goals. Year after year I think about all of the wondrous things I aim to accomplish, such as having sex in a DeLorean and riding a Segway in Lucite stripper heels. While I have yet to complete these specific endeavors, there is one goal that I have indeed reached, all thanks to you, my coven of blood-gushing goddesses. Many menstrual periods ago, I invented a…