My dearest Tampon Princesses, I feel compelled to tell you a tale from my past, which involves a sordid history with the vegetable known as corn. It all began in high school at a carnival booth where my drill team had to sell corn to fairgoers in order to raise money. A friend and I were working the booth alone and thought it was HILARIOUS that we had to sell these phallic cobs. Ahh, such simple, stupid humor back then. Anyway, somehow…
