Once I got stoned alone and made the mistake of putting on Alejandro Jodorowsky’s surrealist acid trip of a film, Holy Mountain. I had watched it a million times before and didn’t think it would be a big deal. If I had some sort of spiritual experience watching it while on the influence of cannabis, that sounded fine! Sadly, that was not the case. When I saw the scene where a perverted old man pops out his fake eyeball and gives it to a young girl, I began to have a full-on freak out. I texted my friend, told him about my dire situation, and he replied, “What if this is how you die?”
My mind camera zoomed in on those words and I heard James Earl Jones’ voice echo, “WHAT IF THIS IS HOW YOU DIE.” “FUCK YOU!!!!” I texted back.
Spoiler alert: me and that dude are about to celebrate our two-year anniversary. I decided to try and save myself from spiraling into a dark marijuana-enhanced paranoia the only way I knew how: by putting on Troop Beverly Hills and making myself a bowl of homemade nachos. Soon I was laughing at the hijinks of one Phyllis Nefler, chomping on some cheesy chips and promising myself to never get high during an Alejandro Jodorowsky movie again. Your girl is just a delicate flower. 
Today on Bloodfeast, we’re going to make ourselves a batch of these soul-rescuing nachos. Have these when you too are suffering from a weed-induced meltdown, let them be the antidote to just a shit-ass day or better yet, simply enjoy as a treat that celebrates YOU.*
*Oprah voice
(Originally posted on The Hairpin.)
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